It started where most parent-child relationships begin, which is to say, in your parents’ fantasies. The truth, Normal Son, is that the story of your parents’ reaction began long before you were born. Instead, I’d like to shed some light on what their internal experience might be like, so that no matter how you decide to move forward, you’ll be coming from a less injured and more centered place. I’m in no way condoning their hurtful and intolerant behavior. You see, just as they don’t understand you (why can’t you just be straight?), you don’t understand them (why can’t they just be supportive?). But you might not have to lose each other over their terror and your pain. I’m sorry that your parents are struggling so hard to understand you, and that you’re internalizing their struggle (by, for example, calling yourself “abnormal”) even as you rail against it. Some men are attracted to men, some women to women, or any combination thereof. You’ll notice that I’m addressing my response to “Normal Son” and not “Abnormal Son,” because there is nothing abnormal about you.
Are parents that see their son in this way worth holding onto? They recently found out about my significant other and told me that my happiness is not worth the price of giving up being normal, and how little they love me. They’ve asked if I have AIDS, if I was molested by a priest, and other questions far too graphic to go into. I am 18 years old and in need of advice and insight. My parents found out I was gay almost three years ago. Ever since then, they have berated me for it - either that, or they’re outright ignoring it.